I chose paid work over volunteering at my daughter's school this week, and the guilt that followed.
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I had a discovery call this week, and her fear felt like a pressure cooker : "I can't just teach what feels inspired - I have to teach what sells."
The yoga teachers coming to me don't have business backgrounds. They're learning to shift from passion project to professional. And it has never been more blatant to me - when your healing work has to pay rent, success can feel really isolating. People think you should just be grateful your "passion" pays bills. What they don't see is the weight of knowing your family's security depends on whether your next launch works or not.
The guilt is so real. The overwhelm is so real.
And honestly? I'm right there with her. I should feel grateful. My spiritual work pays my bills. My calendar was completely packed this week - guest speaker twice with another one next week, more yoga classes on Saturday, training all day Sunday.
Yet, there wasn't one moment to myself.
And I found myself feeling guilty for wanting more success. Like choosing to take on more work instead of volunteering as a class parent at Noa's school. I'm the breadwinner by default in my house, and when your spiritual gifts have to support your family, every spiritual decision becomes a financial one too.
I could feel myself spiraling - the guilt feeding the overwhelm feeding more guilt. So instead of trying to force gratitude, I went back to basics and started feeding myself better.
High protein smoothie in the morning. Good cereal with blueberries around 11. Made sure I had leftover dinner ready for lunch. Dark chocolate-covered almonds at 3pm after picking up Noa. A warming stew for dinner that actually nourished me.
I didn't skip my yoga practice, even though my to-do list was practically screaming at me. I showed up for five straight days, including weight training.
This is exactly why I teach the creative process the way I do in Tabernacle.
Your inner game and outer strategy have to work together.
You simply can't build a sustainable spiritual business if you're not taking care of yourself as a human first.
This is what real gratitude looks like - not forcing myself to be thankful for draining circumstances, but recognizing what actually sustains me in business. A full yoga practice schedule isn't success if I'm too exhausted to show up for Noa. A packed calendar isn't abundance if I have no space to breathe.
Real gratitude means being honest about what's working and what needs to change.
What I'm Working On
My Black Friday course and training my current Tabernacle clients on creating evergreen content from their mood boards - building assets that keep attracting clients even when you're not actively posting.
And yes, I'm still working on those boundaries I wrote about. This is ongoing work, not a one-time fix.
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Wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful. Sometimes the most grateful thing you can do is get honest about what's not working and give yourself permission to change it.
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Until next Sunday,
Erica
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